With two albums under its belt (2016’s Tight & Sexy and Sorry For Being Sexy from 2018), and promo photos that make FORMOSA look like either stunt doubles for General Zod, Non and Ursa from Superman II or extras from the Blue Oyster scenes in the first Police Academy movie, I cannot bloody wait to hear this shit.

‘Dynamite’ prances out of the gate, positively poppy, BIBLE OF THE DEVIL at half-speed and ¼ the passion, and ‘Masquerade’ fares not much better, FORMOSA revealing itself to be any one of a thousand club bands you can see in any mid-sized city in the US on a Thursday night playing for beer or $5 cover, the only differences being that this band has a record deal, and it’s a Friday, so you’d expect better.

Lo and behold, in walks ‘Leader Of The Pack’, a tune able to stand alongside the best of RATT and most of MOTLEY CRUE when they still mattered, boasting tasteful leads and an earworm of a chorus that’s going to stick in my head whether I want it to or not. I’ll be damned if vocalist/bassist Nik Bird isn’t looking over my shoulder as I write this, because ‘Night Of The Witch’ finds him in total 1986 Vince Neil delivery mode, though over the top of a song that’s too lackluster to matter.

While I’m not sure what ‘Manic Lover’ is on about, there’s a bit of SCORPIONS to be found under the surface, Nik Beer [guitars] showing that sometimes, when he wants to, he can hold his own as a lead player. Back to the streets we’re taken with ‘We Go Out Tonight’ (also known as ‘Random Party Song #842’) but this far into Danger Zone, I just don’t have the patience anymore.

At the end of it all, I’m still confused. Who is in the Danger Zone? It must be FORMOSA, because I just don’t feel as if I’m in any danger whatsoever. Unfortunately, I’ve spent the last roughly half-hour listening to a 2020 incarnation of SLIK TOXIK, JETBOY or any other 4th-tier hard rock band that shouldn’t have bothered 30 years ago.
Review By: Lord Randall

Danger Zone
Metalville Records
1 / 6